People who entered the Courtyard without an invitation were just plain crazy! Wolves were big and scary and so fluffy, how could anyone resist hugging one just to feel all that fur?“Ignore the fluffy,” she muttered. “Remember the part about big and scary.
You think I’d cheat on you? I demanded with all the innocent outrage I could muster.With another guy, no. With a cheeseburger . . . in a heartbeat.
I never understood how men could remember all those details about sports but, yet, were incapable of remembering where they set their car keys or wallet.
The essence of Christianity is told us in the Garden of Eden history. The fruit that was forbidden was on the tree of knowledge. The subtext is, ‘All the suffering you have is because you wanted to find out what was going on. You could be in the Garden of Eden if you had just kept your fucking mouth shut and hadn’t asked any questions.
We do need a system, and we do need you and your ‘Bertos, and sometimes we need Sam to just come along and kick some ass. – Quinn
A singer can shatter glass with the proper high note, he said, but the simplest way to break glass is simply to drop it on the floor.
This is so cool, I said loudly as Dad walked away. Have you met the tattoo artist? Is he hot? He’s a she, Mom said. Is she hot? Cause I’m still young, you know. My sexual identity isnt fully formed. Your father can’t hear you anymore, Maya. Mom sighed.
Horse sense is the thing a horse has which keeps it from betting on people.
This paper, by its very length, defends itself from ever being read.
Such is the vastness of his genius that he can outwit even himself.
If money’s the god people worship, I’d rather go worship the devil instead.
Two things that matter to me. Emotional resonance and rocket launchers.
I’ve seen more intelligence in the crotch lice of harem whores.
Saphira waved her tail, the tip whistling loudly. I’m not asking you to. However, if we attack first, we may gain the advantage. Have you gone crazy? They’ll… Eragon’s voice trailed off as he thought about it. They won’t be able to do a thing. Exactly, said Saphira. We can inflict lots of damage from a safe height. Let’s drop rocks on them!
She’s the kind of girl who climbed the ladder of success wrong by wrong.
Speed eliminates all doubt. Am I smart enough? Will people like me? Do I really look all right in this plastic jumpsuit?
In a series of events, all of which had been a bit thick, this, in his opinion, achieved the maximum of thickness.
He studied my appearance carefully. “You cut your hair.” “Yes. Do you like it?” “That depends. How long is it?” I pulled a curl down and showed him it ended just past my shoulder. He grunted, “That’s still long enough, so I like it.” “Long enough for what?” “Long enough for a man to run his hands through.
Cam’s wings were so bright they were almost blinding as they pulsed. Holy Hell, Callie whispered, blinking.More or less, Arriane said
I don’t know who YOU think you’re kidding you Hufflepuff-ass bitch
But what about the End of the Universe? We’ll miss the big moment.I’ve seen it. It’s rubbish, said Zaphod,nothing but a gnab gib.A what?Opposite of a big bang. Come on, let’s get zappy.
You mean other than the wings? I once ate nine snicker bars in a row without barfing. It was a record.
I swear, talking to you is like talking to a really good-looking and mildly stupid brick wall.
So, have a little fun. Soon enough you’ll be dead and burning in Hell with the rest of your family.
I’m fine, Mom. Thanks for asking.”…“Of course you’re fine.” She keeps walking. “You’re the devil’s bride and these are his creatures.”…“I’m not the devil’s bride.” “He carried you out of the fire and is letting you visit us from the dead. Who else would have those privileges except his bride?
When life hands you a lemon, say, ‘Oh yeah, I like lemons! What else ya got?
Guns are our friends because in a country without guns, I’m what’s known as prey. All females are.
It was the first time I was ever in love, and I learned a lot. Before that I’d never even thought about killing myself.
Believe me, It would be better if we didn’t meet again. Go back to school. Go back to your life. And next time they ask you, say no. Killing is for grown-ups and you’re still a child.
Where were you born?On a battlefield, [Yossarian] answered.No, no. In what state were you born?In a state of innocence.
Remember, Jesus would rather constantly shame gays than let orphans have a family.
Millard! Who’s the prime minister?Winston Churchill, he said. Have you gone daft?What’s the capital of Burma?Lord, I’ve no idea. Rangoon?Good! When’s your birthday?Will you quit shouting and let me bleed in peace!
You make me smile like the sun, fall out bed, sing like a bird, dizzy in my head. Spin like a record crazy on a sunday night. You make me dance like a fool, forget how to breath, shine like the sun buzz like a bee, just the thought of you can drive me wild. Oh you make me smile. -Uncle Kracker-
You see, wire telegraph is a kind of a very, very long cat. You pull his tail in New York and his head is meowing in Los Angeles. Do you understand this? And radio operates exactly the same way: you send signals here, they receive them there. The only difference is that there is no cat.
If absolute power corrupts absolutely, where does that leave God?
I told my wife the truth. I told her I was seeing a psychiatrist. Then she told me the truth: that she was seeing a psychiatrist, two plumbers, and a bartender.
Yes, we’ll yell, ‘Help, help us, goose girl, and bring the terrifying legion of warrior geese’.
The attempt to develop a sense of humor and to see things in a humorous light is some kind of a trick learned while mastering the art of living.
I penetrated the outer cell membrane with a nanosyringe.You poked it with a stick?No! I said. Well. Yes. But it was a scientific poke with a very scientific stick.
You want sensitive and understanding, stick with the therapist.You want great,headbanging sex, get off the fucking phone and come with me.
I don’t know about your true form, but the weight of your ego sure is pushing the crust of the earth toward the breaking point.
Humor can get in under the door while seriousness is still fumbling at the handle.
As far as I can tell, there are two basic (kissing) rules: 1. Don’t bite anything without permission. 2. The human tongue is like wasabi: it’s very powerful, and should be used sparingly.
I’ve always known I was gay, but it wasn’t confirmed until I was in kindergarten.It was my teacher who said so. It was right there on my kindergarten report card: PAUL IS DEFINITELY GAY AND HAS VERY GOOD SENSE OF SELF.
Fire wants to burn Water wants to flow Air wants to rise Earth wants to bindChaos wants to devourCal wants to live
I need to look like an idiot at least twice a day to keep myself humble.
FABLEHAVEN: None who enter will leave unchanged. Trespassers will be turned to stone.
Down with tyranny!’ Bramble cried. ‘Aristocracy! Autocracy! Monocracy! Other ocracy things! You are outnumbered, sir! Surrender!