I had no desire to hear another woman tell my boyfriend how hot he was. If I wanted him to know, I’d damn well tell him myself.
Molly: So how do you think of Bryce Hamilton crowd so far? Boys hot enough for you?Bethany: I wouldn’t say hot. Most of them seem to have a normal body temperature.
[Myrnin to Claire about their costumes of Pierrot and Harlequin, respectively]Don’t they teach you anything in your schools?Not about this.Pity. I suppose that’s what comes of your main education flowing from Google.
And Nate? You kiss like a slobbering dog, you have bad breath, and you wouldn’t know how to punch the right buttons on a girl if we came with manuals. Happy Thanksgiving, Jackass.
There’s nothing more contagious than the laughter of young children; it doesn’t even have to matter what they’re laughing about.
When I’m out of politics I’m going to run a business, it’ll be called rent-a-spine
Look! said Foaly, pointing with some urgency into the vast steel-gray gloom, Someone who cares!
This college would probably have the same problem as the last one did.I frowned, What’s that?Homework.
I spilled more times than a glass of milk on a roller coaster.
Georgie, stop trying to resurrect the shoes. They were never alive in the first place.
We need to remember what’s important in life: friends, waffles, work. Or waffles, friends, work. Doesn’t matter, but work is third.
Where I come from, we’re more about efficiency,’ he replies. ‘A knife like this’ll skewer food, smear butter, and slit throats all at the same time.
I actually like how doctors talk. I like the sound of science. I like how words you don’t understand explain things you can’t understand.
Often it does seem such a pity that Noah and his party did not miss the boat.
Jessica, you are a pain in the arse, do you know that? If I were not so immensely fond of you, I should throw you out the window.She wrapped her arms about his waist and laid her head against his chest. Not merely ‘fond,’ but ‘immensely fond.’ Oh Dain, I do believe I shall swoon.Not now, he said crossly. I haven’t time to pick you up.
Life makes fools of all of us sooner or later. But keep your sense of humor and you’ll at least be able to take your humiliations with some measure of grace. In the end, you know, its our own expectations that crush us.
Being a leader is making the people you love hate you a little more each day.
Can we go back to using Facebook for what it was originally for – looking up exes to see how fat they got?
Sex is one of the nine reasons for reincarnation. The other eight are unimportant
I don’t know why it should be, I am sure; but the sight of another man asleep in bed when I am up, maddens me.
There’s a difference between preferring books to parties and preferring sixteen cats to seeing the light of day.
Years from now, when I’m successful and happy, …and he’s in prison… I hope I’m not too mature to gloat.
Faith, n. Belief without evidence in what is told by one who speaks without knowledge, of things without parallel.
When things are at their blackest, I say to myself, ‘Cheer up, things could be worse.’ And sure enough, they get worse.
She shrugs.MenMen.If we can send one man to the moon, why can’t we send them all there?
You’re like a tornado of bullshit right now. We’ll talk again when your bullshit dies out over someone else’s house.
There is one other reason for dressing well, namely that dogs respect it, and will not attack you in good clothes.
Our enemies are innovative and resourceful, and so are we. They never stop thinking about new ways to harm our country and our people, and neither do we.
Jesus Christ, will you quit dictating this conversation to Hannah?’ I grumble. ‘Bros before hos, dude.”Call my girlfriend a ho one more time and you won’t have a bro.
Claim whatever you want. Say you only want a happy family or a successful career or a big house. I say: no, that’s not what you want. You’ll settle for those things, but you really want a monkey that does your evil bidding. Pullman is a genius just for this.
I know the answer! The answer lies within the heart of all mankind! The answer is twelve? I think I’m in the wrong building.
V shook his head. “Remember what you saw in that clearing, cop? How’d you like that anywhere near a female you loved?”Butch put down the Bud without drinking from it. His eyes traveled over Rhage’s body.“We’re going to need a shitload of steel,” the human muttered.
And you’re blind?Uh-huh, Iggy said, trying to sound bored.Were you born that way?No.How did you become blind, uh, Jeff, is it?Yeah, Jeff. Well, I looked directly at the sun, you know, the way they always tell you not to. If only I had listened.
You look disappointed to see me, Zach, Macey teased. Don’t you like my jacket?
Dont ruin my balls! She laughs as the words leave her mouth.Better yours than mine, chica. I toss the dough balls at her, one by one, until I’ve got none left.
See, that’s the difference,” Mauvin said. “I suffer a loss and people console me. Royce suffers a loss and whole towns evacuate.
Dear Non-American Black, when you make the choice to come to America, you become black. Stop arguing. Stop saying I’m Jamaican or I’m Ghanaian. America doesn’t care.
If she can’t spell, why is she a librarian? Librarians should know how to spell.
Hey! Caleb snapped as he realized Nick was about to lock him on the outside with their attackers. He pushed the door open and glared at him. No man left behind.Nick scoffed. This aint’ the army, boy. It’s every man for himself. Fall behind. Get eaten
If you love something, let it go.If you don’t love something, definitely let it go.Basically, just drop everything, who cares.
He whipped out his sheet, then pulled it over himself and wrapped it tightly around his face like an old woman in a shawl. ‘How do I look?”Like the ugliest shanky girl I’ve ever seen,’ Minho responded. ‘You better thank the gods above you were born a dude.’ ‘Thanks.
One morning you wake up with more life behind you than in front of you, not being able to understand how it’s happened.
I’ll not listen to reason… reason always means what someone else has got to say.
Let me ask you a question Alex. What do you think is the greatest evil on this plant today?Is that including, or not including you?
An artist is somebody who produces things that people don’t need to have.
The first ten million years were the worst, said Marvin, and the second ten million years, they were the worst too. The third ten million years I didn’t enjoy at all. After that I went into a bit of a decline.
I glanced up to see Liz and smiled. Thank you. I just went along for the ride. After that happened- She waved at Derek. You know how blind people need Seeing Eye dogs? Well, apparently werewolves could really use Opening Door poltergeists.
I had just heard tales that the Valkyrie were large warriors, akin to Amazons.”“If you’re the sole survivor of an army attacked by us, are you going to say we had our asses handed to us by petite, nubile females, or by she-monsters who can bench Buicks?
The great Gaels of Ireland are the men that God made mad, For all their wars are merry, and all their songs are sad.
When you say gorgeous,” Jen started, “are we talking Brad Pitt boyish good looks, or Johnny Depp make ya want to slap somebody?” “No, we’re talking Brad and Johnny need to bow down and recognize” Jacque answered.
How do you feel right now? I hurt like hell.You’ll feel worse tomorrow.So?So, better get a jump on this while you still feel…not as bad.What kind of logic is that? I retorted.
Elizabeth: Your balls, Mr. Darcy?Darcy: They belong to you, Miss Bennett.
There is only one cure for grey hair. It was invented by a Frenchman. It is called the guillotine.
Thinking I’m a moron gives people something to feel smug about, Charles Wallace said. Why should I disillusion them?
Gabi to Marcus I can’t believe out of one hundred thousand sperm, you were the fastest!