Everyone is a little crazy. The only difference between us and them is that they hide it better.
Pretty soon the only people left without a girlfriend will be me and Wendell the school janitor, and he smells like windex.At least you know he’s still available.
The trouble is you can shut your eyes but you can’t shut your mind.
Do little pink fairies sing and dance in your world, Peabody?Sometimes, when it’s very quiet and no one else can see.
A good night sleep, or a ten minute bawl, or a pint of chocolate ice cream, or all three together, is good medicine.
You weren’t afraid of me when I was Wolf, he said. Why are you afraid of Nathan?He’s got big feet!What?An insulted-sounding arrroooo came from the other side of the door, a reminder that Wolves also had big ears.
Because sometimes you just have to dance like a madman in the Self-Help section of your local bookstore.
I’m told I have the body of a god.A Greek god, or one of those gods with the horse heads or elephant’s legs coming out of their chests? Alan asked. Next time someone tells you that, ask them to specify.
Aim high. You may still miss the target, but at least you won’t shoot your foot off.
Going to church doesn’t make you a Christian any more than going to a garage makes you an automobile.
If you think anyone is sane you just don’t know enough about them.
No one believes you’re serious until bodies start to fall. -Vlad
Carved above the lintel were the words SCIENTIA POTESTAS EST. Science points east, I wondered? Science is portentous, yes? Science protests too much. Scientific potatoes rule. Had I stumbled on the lair of dangerous plant geneticists?
I don’t like to think of it as ‘stolen’. They have no proof that I didn’t plan on giving it back.You’re kidding, right?He shrugged. You have no proof either.She squinted back at him. Were you planning on giving it back?Maybe.An orange light blinked on in the corner of Cinder’s vision-her cyborg programming picking up on the lie.
Normal people can become very annoying if put in annoying situations.
I could see that, if not actually disgruntled, he was far from being gruntled.
Garcia wondered why people with JESUS stickers on their bumper always drove twenty miles per hour under the speed limit. If God was my co-pilot, he thought, I’d be doing a hundred and twenty.
I hugged him without any kind of fear or self-consciousness, fiercely, with a rush of emotion that almost brought tears to my eyes.I could kiss you! Chubs cried.Please don’t! I gasp out, feeling his arms tighten around my ribs to the point of cracking them.
I am prone to envy. It is one of my three default emotions, the others being greed and rage. I have also experienced compassion and generosity, but only fleetingly and usually while drunk, so I have little memory.
A man should look for what is, and not for what he thinks should be.
Fine! I’ll throw on some clothes. Turn around. I’m in my pj’sI’m a guy. That’s like asking a kid not to glance at the candy counter.
If I behave as though this is a completely normal situation, then maybe it will be …
Freddie experienced the sort of abysmal soul-sadness which afflicts one of Tolstoy’s Russian peasants when, after putting in a heavy day’s work strangling his father, beating his wife, and dropping the baby into the city’s reservoir, he turns to the cupboards, only to find the vodka bottle empty.
I had a dream about you last night… you were a giant slinky and I watched you fall down the stairs.
I would never want to be a member of a group whose symbol was a man nailed to two pieces of wood.
I hate mankind, for I think myself one of the best of them, and I know how bad I am.
Men are all the same, they think that because they came out of the belly of a woman they know all there is to know about women.
I didn’t think about being king,” he said, his voice hoarse.Eddis stared. “Your capacity to land yourself in a mess because you didn’t think first, Eugenides, will never cease to amaze me. What do you mean you didn’t think about being king? Is Attolia going to marry you and move into my library?
No one in the world gets what they want and that is beautiful.
You know the world is going crazy when the best rapper is a white guy, the best golfer is a black guy, the tallest guy in the NBA is Chinese, the Swiss hold the America’s Cup, France is accusing the U.S. of arrogance, Germany doesn’t want to go to war, and the three most powerful men in America are named Bush, Dick, and Colin. Need I say more?
Happiness is having a large, loving, caring, close-knit family in another city.
A guy walks up to me and asks, What’s Punk?. So I kick over a garbage can and say. That’s punk!. So he kicks over the garbage can and says, That’s Punk?, and I say, No that’s trendy!
But we’re going to smile and pretend we’re fine with the dorky birthmas gifts because people do not get that they can’t mush a birthday into christmas.
If I shot an arrow and thought about an ass, would it surprise you if it hit Erik?
Anybody who says they are a good liar obviously is not, because any legitimately savvy liar would always insist they’re honest about everything.
Man is certainly stark mad; he cannot make a worm, and yet he will be making gods by dozens.
Who wants to go down the creepy tunnel inside the tomb first?— Riley Poole
Sometimes the sins you haven’t committed are all you have left to hold onto.
I despise the rituals of fake friendship. I wish we could just claw each other’s eyes out and call it a day; instead we put on huge radiant smiles and spout compliments until our teeth hurt from the saccharine sweetness of it all.
You see, that is the sad, sorry, terrible thing about sarcasm.It’s really funny.
There’s a meeting in Command. Disregard your current schedule,’ he says. ‘Done,’ I say.’Did you follow it at all today?’ he asks in exasperation.’Who knows? I’m mentally disoriented.’ I hold up my wrist to show my medical bracelet and realize it’s gone. ‘See? I can’t even remember they took my bracelet.’ (Katniss and Boggs)
The nuclear arms race is like two sworn enemies standing waist deep in gasoline, one with three matches, the other with five.
Remember, we’re madly in love, so it’s all right to kiss me anytime you feel like it.
It’s lovely. If only you could frost someone to death.Don’t be so superior. You can never tell what you will find in the arena. Say it’s a gigantic cake-
But the fact that some geniuses were laughed at does not imply that all who are laughed at are geniuses. They laughed at Columbus, they laughed at Fulton, they laughed at the Wright brothers. But they also laughed at Bozo the Clown.
It’s a lazy Saturday afternoon, there’s a couple lying naked in bed reading Encyclopediea Brittannica to each other, and arguing about whether the Andromeda Galaxy is more ‘numinous’ than the Ressurection. Do they know how to have a good time, or don’t they?
You can swim, too. he says. Where did you learn that in District Twelve?We have a very big bathtub.