If you cannot get rid of the family skeleton, you may as well make it dance.
I’m not absolutely certain of the facts, but I rather fancy it’s Shakespeare who says that it’s always just when a fellow is feeling particularly braced with things in general that Fate sneaks up behind him with the bit of lead piping.
A recent survey or North American males found 42% were overweight, 34% were critically obese and 8% ate the survey.
Of all the crap, crap, crappy nights I’ve ever had in the whole of my crap life. On a scale of one to 10, we’re talking…a minus 6. And it’s not like I even have very high standards.
If you reject the food, ignore the customs, fear the religion, and avoid the people, you might better stay home.
I don’t mind foreigners. God save the queen! he squeaked and ran.
You can’t give her that!’ she screamed. ‘It’s not safe!’IT’S A SWORD, said the Hogfather. THEY’RE NOT MEANT TO BE SAFE.’She’s a child!’ shouted Crumley.IT’S EDUCATIONAL.’What if she cuts herself?’THAT WILL BE AN IMPORTANT LESSON.
I know – I’ll play you for it, Alice suggested. Rock, paper, scissors.Jasper chuckled and Edward sighed.Why don’t you just tell me who wins? Edward said wryly.Alice beamed. I do. Excellent.
Because you can’t argue with all the fools in the world. It’s easier to let them have their way, then trick them when they’re not paying attention.
Could you hold the chainsaw a bit closer to your mouth, please?
Conscience is the inner voice that warns us somebody may be looking.
When you’re the only sane person, you look like the only insane person.
Lynn, she saved half our faction from this stuff, says Marlene, tapping the bandage on her arm from where the Dauntless traitors shot her. Well, half of half of our faction.In some circles they call that a quarter, Mar, Lynn says.
Unseen in the background, Fate was quietly slipping lead into the boxing-glove.
Get there early because hope does not park your mother-fucking car.
I have dozens of loyal fans! Baker’s dozens! …they come in thirteens.
Mary-Lynnette: You have not read ‘Pride and Prejudice’.Ash: Why not?Mary-Lynnette: Because Jane Austen was a human.Ash: How do you know?Mary-Lynnette: Well Jane Austen was a woman, and you’re a chauvinist pig.Ash: Yes, well, that I can’t argue.
Brainy folks were also present in Lyndon Johnson’s administration, especially in the Pentagon, where Secretary of Defense Robert McNamara’s brilliant ‘whiz kids’ tried to micro-manage the Vietnam war, with disastrous results.
Everything here is edible; even I’m edible. But that, dear children, is cannibalism, and is in fact frowned upon in most societies.
I’ve heard that hard work never killed anyone, but I say why take the chance?
Oh, dear God and baby Jesus in the manger, my eyes!” Dee shrieked. “My eyes!
A friend is someone who knows where all your bodies are buried. Because they’re the ones who helped you put them there.And sometimes, if you’re really lucky, they help you dig them back up.
Only Irish coffee provides in a single glass all four essential food groups: alcohol, caffeine, sugar and fat.
Computers are like Old Testament gods; lots of rules and no mercy.
Do you remember me telling you we are practicing non-verbal spells, Potter?Yes, said Harry stiffly.Yes, sir.There’s no need to call me sir Professor.The words had escaped him before he knew what he was saying.
As with most of life’s problems, this one can be solved by a box of pure radiation.
Don’t bite his face, Eleanor told herself. It’s disturbing and needy and never happens in situation comedies or movies that end with big kisses.
An untied shoelace can be dangerous,’ he said.’I could have tripped.’She stared at him. A moment dragged by.’I’m joking,’ he said at last.She relaxed. ‘Really?”Absolutely. I would never have tripped. I’m far too graceful.
I swear, my dear. Sometimes our conversations remind me of a broken sword.She raised an eyebrow.Sharp as hell, Lightsong said, but lacking a point.
The statistics on sanity are that one out of every four people is suffering from a mental illness. Look at your 3 best friends. If they’re ok, then it’s you.
Every passing hour brings the Solar System forty three thousand miles closer to Globular Cluster M13 in Hercules — and still there are some misfits who insist that there is no such thing as progress.
People talk too much. Humans aren’t descended from monkeys. They come from parrots.
From: Anastasia SteeleSubject: MoaningDate: May 31 2011 19:39 ESTTo: Christian GreyGotta go.Laters, baby……From: Christian GreySubject: PlagiarismDate: May 31 2011 16:41To: Anastasia SteeleYou stole my line.And left me hanging.Enjoy your dinner.Christian GreyCEO, Grey Enterprises Holdings Inc.
CONJUGATE THIS:I cut class, you cut class, he, she, it cuts class. We cut class, they cut class. We all cut class. I cannot say this in Spanish because I did not go to Spanish today. Gracias a dios. Hasta luego.
Only a true best friend can protect you from your immortal enemies.
What’s the whole point of being pretty on the outside when you’re so ugly on the inside?
The secret to enjoying your job is to have a hobby that’s even worse
If a black cat crosses your path, it signifies that the animal is going somewhere.
What’s this ”“A needle.”“What should I do with it ” He’d walked right into it. Too easy. “Please use it to pop your head. It’s obscuring my view of the room.
NO PDA,school rules. And besides she’s my partner dickhead. said Alex.
I don’t believe there’s any problem in this country, no matter how tough it is, that Americans, when they roll up their sleeves, can’t completely ignore.
We forfeit three-quarters of ourselves in order to be like other people.
I alternate between feeling sympathetic toward humanity and being a misanthrope. When I’m sympathetic, it usually means I haven’t been around people in awhile.
Mrs. Spence picks up a roll of toilet paper from the counter and scrunches her nose.“Ask Caymen about that,” Xander says.Great, now I have to explain to his mother about my vandalism? “Your son called me with a toilet paper emergency. I rushed right over.”She looks confused so Xander says, “She’s kidding, Mom.
You did not just say that. I have a feeling we’re on the verge of hugging and coming up with cute nicknames for each other.
A man must not deny his manifest abilities, for that is to evade his obligations.
That’s ridiculous. Especially the part about Christian being manly.