How long have you been with Raphael?”“You ask a lot of questions for a dead woman.”“What can I say? I prefer to die well-informed.
It’s difficult to see the glass ceiling because it’s made of glass. Virtually invisible. What we need is for more birds to fly above it and shit all over it, so we can see it properly.
Now what happens? asked the man in black. We face each other as God intended, Fezzik said. No tricks, no weapons, skill against skill alone.You mean you’ll put down your rock and I’ll put down my sword and we’ll try to kill each other like civilized people, is that it?
I just got out of the hospital. I was in a speed reading accident. I hit a book mark and flew across the room.
None so deaf as those that will not hear. None so blind as those that will not see.
If kids and teenagers can get into a band, it’s probably not because they think it’s brainy.
I’m gonna kill him, Eve said, or at least that was what it sounded like filtered through the pillow.Stake him right in the heart, shove garlic up his ass, and-and-And what? (Michael)When did you get home? Claire demanded.Apparently just in time to hear my funeral plans. I especially like the garlic up the ass. It’s…different.
What we do belongs to what we are; and what we are is what becomes of us.
Telling an introvert to go to a party is like telling a saint to go to Hell.
An open Facebook page is simply a psychiatric dry erase board that screams, “Look at me. I am insecure. I need your reaction to what I am doing, but you’re not cool enough to be my friend. Therefore, I will just pray you see this because the approval of God is not all I need.
The figures looked more or less human. And they were engaged in religion. You could tell by the knives (it’s not murder if you do it for a god).
I think the very word stalking implies that you’re not supposed to like it. Otherwise, it would be called ‘fluffy harmless observation time’.
So this is it, said Arthur, We are going to die.Yes, said Ford, except… no! Wait a minute! He suddenly lunged across the chamber at something behind Arthur’s line of vision. What’s this switch? he cried.What? Where? cried Arthur, twisting round.No, I was only fooling, said Ford, we are going to die after all.
The meek may inherit the earth, but at the moment it belongs to the conceited. Like me.
The idea of being strong for someone else having never entered their heads, I find myself in the position of having to console them. Since I’m the person going in to be slaughtered, this is somewhat annoying.
A true friend is a gift from God. Since God doesn’t exist, guess what? Neither do true friends.
Anything that doesn’t take years of your life and drive you to suicide hardly seems worth doing.
I sheathed my blade and glared at him. And here I almost thought you weren’t a complete bastard. Well, that’s your mistake, not mine.
Razo hopped back up and adopted a posture that said he was completely unruffled, never had been, and in fact was ready to do something manly like lift boulders or swallow live worms.
Hey, said Shadow. Huginn or Muninn, or whoever you are. The bird turned, head tipped, suspiciously, on one side, and it stared at him with bright eyes.Say ‘Nevermore,’ said Shadow.Fuck you, said the raven.
Writing is the only profession where no one considers you ridiculous if you earn no money.
Quotation, n: The act of repeating erroneously the words of another.
Don’t you understand? snarled Rincewind. We are going over the Edge, godsdammit!Can’t we do anything about it?No!Then I can’t see the sense in panicking, said Twoflower calmly.
Rock ‘n’ roll is not red carpets and MySpace friends, rock’n’roll is dangerous and should piss people off
The universe is full of magical things, patiently waiting for our wits to grow sharper.
But that was life: Nobody got a guided tour to their own theme park. You had to hop on the rides as they presented themselves, never knowing whether you would like the one you were in line for…or if the bastard was going to make you throw up your corn dog and your cotton candy all over the place.
A fine quotation is a diamond in the hand of a man of wit and a pebble in the hand of a fool.
One of the world’s most tiresome questions is what object one would bring to a desert island,because people always answer a deck of cards or Anna Karenina when the obvious answer is a well equipped boat and a crew to sail me off the island and back home where I can play all the card games and read all the Russian novels I want.
Ah, Signor Halt,’ he said uncertainly, ‘you are making a joke, yes?”He is making a joke, no,’ Will said. ‘But he likes to think he is making a joke, yes.
Haven’t you ever heard that modesty is an attractive trait?Only from ugly people, Jace confided. The meek may inherit the earth, but at the moment it belongs to the conceited. Like me. He winked at the girls, who giggled and hid behind their hair.
It’s just that in the Deep South, women learn at a young age that when the world is falling apart around you, it’s time to take down the drapes and make a new dress.
Wisdom comes from experience. Experience is often a result of lack of wisdom.
This is a good place, he said.There’s a lot of liquor, I agreed.
You cannot push any one up a ladder unless he be willing to climb a little himself.
If you’re going to make a science fiction movie, then have a hover craft chase, for God’s sake.
I have never read The Joy of Crap. Sounds disgusting. I have, however, read The Joy of Sex. Not in a while, but I think it’s one of those classics you can come back to again… and again.
Ransom really looked at the other man for the first time, shook his head, stared again. “Holy hell, your eyes are like a fucking viper’s.”Venom raised an eyebrow. “You have hair prettier than one of Astaad’s concubines.”Ransom gave the vampire the finger.Venom grinned.
Leo couldn’t help smiling. That could be fun.Fun she said unhappily.Blue elephants.Blue elephants.Kiss me you fool.You fool.
Hearing nuns’ confessions is like being stoned to death with popcorn.
The two most common elements in the universe are Hydrogen and stupidity.
The Destiny of Man is to unite, not to divide. If you keep on dividing you end up as a collection of monkeys throwing nuts at each other out of separate trees.
Evey Hammond: Who are you? V: Who? Who is but the form following the function of what and what I am is a man in a mask. Evey Hammond: Well I can see that. V: Of course you can. I’m not questioning your powers of observation I’m merely remarking upon the paradox of asking a masked man who he is
I really believe, or want to believe, really I am nuts, otherwise I’ll never be sane.
Tell people there’s an invisible man in the sky who created the universe, and the vast majority will believe you. Tell them the paint is wet, and they have to touch it to be sure.
I planted a kamikaze kiss on Jamie’s cheek.“FUCK,” he shouted, wiping it off. “What if you killed me!” He threw a Skittle at my face. It hit my forehead.“Ow!”“Taste the rainbow bitch.
Everyone is born creative; everyone is given a box of crayons in kindergarten. Then when you hit puberty they take the crayons away and replace them with dry, uninspiring books on algebra, history, etc. Being suddenly hit years later with the ‘creative bug’ is just a wee voice telling you, ‘I’d like my crayons back, please.
It’s snowing still, said Eeyore gloomily.So it is.And freezing.Is it?Yes, said Eeyore. However, he said, brightening up a little, we haven’t had an earthquake lately.
At first, I could lie about my lack of sleep and she’d fall for it, but she started suspecting insomnia when I began seeing purple elephants in the air vents at the office. I knew I shouldn’t have asked her about them. I thought maybe she’d redecorated.
When your mother asks, Do you want a piece of advice? it’s a mere formality. It doesn’t matter if you answer yes or no. You’re going to get it anyway.
People without firmness of character love to make up a fate for themselves; that relieves them of the necessity of having their own will and of taking responsibility for themselves.
This is like a cookie, it tastes like a cookie having sex with a doughnut.
Every man must decide for himself whether he shall master his world or be mastered by it.
In this dirty minded world, you are either someone’s wife or someone’s whore. And if you’re not either people think there is something wrong with you….but there is nothing wrong with me
The greater part of the world’s troubles are due to questions of grammar.