Want to have a short phone call with someone? Call them at 11:55 a.m., right before lunch. They’ll talk fast. You may think you are interesting, but you are not more interesting than lunch.
If he who employs coercion against me could mould me to his purposes by argument, no doubt he would. He pretends to punish me because his argument is strong; but he really punishes me because his argument is weak.
When I was One,I had just begun.When I was Two,I was nearly new.When I was ThreeI was hardly me.When I was Four,I was not much more.When I was Five, I was just alive.But now I am Six, I’m as clever as clever,So I think I’ll be six now for ever and ever.
You know that old saying. Once you go dead, no one’s better in bed.
Oh, of course, said Ron, clapping a hand to his forehead. I forgot we’ll be hunting down Voldemort in a mobile library.
Why are you limping like that?’ Nicholas demanded.’I’m swaggering,’ I informed him.’You look like you’re wearing a diaper.’Charming. And I had a crush on this guy.Wait. I had a crush on this guy?’Now what?’ he asked. ‘You’re making weird faces.”Nothing,’ I said quickly. ‘Never mind.
OK, Josh said evenly, I’ve seen men made of mud, I guess I can accept spying rats. Do they talk? he wondered aloud.Don’t be ridiculous, Flamel snapped, They’re rats.Josh really didn’t think it was a ridiculous suggestion.
You could start a fire with the heat between you two.You’re mistaking bitter animosity for heartfelt affection.
It was sad music. But it waved its sadness like a battle flag. It said the universe had done all it could, but you were still alive.
If you were me, then I’d be you, and if I were you, then I’d hide somewhere far away.
Michael had to pound me a couple of times to convince me not to go stage a rescue. Shane shrugged. He hits like a girl, for a vampire.
If you’re right & I’m not, I’m going to be hell to live with, she said. So, you better think about that next time you want to be right.
If our Founding Fathers wanted us to care about the rest of the world, they wouldn’t have declared their independence from it.
You can safely assume you’ve created God in your own image when it turns out that God hates all the same people you do.
An alcoholic is someone you don’t like, who drinks as much as you do.
Some pains are physical, and some pains are mental, but the one that’s both is dental.
Akhlys lunged at Percy, and for a split second he thought: Well, hey, I’m just smoke. She can’t touch me, right?He imagined the Fates up in Olympus, laughing at his wishful thinking: LOL, NOOB!
Oh no. Don’t smile. You’ll kill me. I stop breathing when you smile.
However, because they have no actual interests of their own (or if they do, they squelch them in order to fit in) and merely pursue those that they think will look best on their college apps, they’re zombies.
Just give me a second. Attempting to give a fuck…Attempting harder to give a fuck…Sorry, there was an error; fuck not given.
Arianne had her feet up on the table, wearing a striped conductor’s cap.Arriane was fixated on the game. A chocolate cigar bobbed between her lips as she contemplated her next move. Roland was giving Arianne the hawk eye.Checkmate, bitch, Arianne said triumphantly, knocking over Roland’s king.
*Appendix usually means small outgrowth from large intestine, but in this case it means additional information accompanying main text. Or are those really the same things? Think carefully before you insult this book.
Ever heard of the rule of three? he shouts as we run.No!If you save somebody’s life three times, their life belongs to you. You saved my life today, that makes once. Save it twice more an I’m all yers.
What’s up? [asked Ford.]I don’t know, said Marvin, I’ve never been there.
Call me sentimental, but there’s no-one in the world that I’d like to see get dysentery more than you
Me, Artemis blurted. I’m the nut.Artemis could have sworn the squid winked at him before bringing the five-ton chunk of spacecraft swinging down toward the morsel of meat in its blue shell.I’m the nut! Artemis shouted again, a little hysterically, it must be said.
How long have you been a Wiccan?”A what?”A pagan. A witch.”I’m not a witch,’ I said, glancing out the door. ‘I’m a wizard.’Sanya frowned. ‘What is the difference?”Wizard has a Z’He looked at me blankly.’No one appreciates me.’ I muttered.
I’ll go, he said.And that’s safer because?I’m a guy.Right, and having a pair of dingle balls makes you invincible how?
Mystery creates wonder and wonder is the basis of man’s desire to understand.
He started to touch the mechanism under the keyboard, then pulled his hand back with a snap.Ah, he said. Must deactivate the security….Turn around, please.What?Turn around, Claire. It’s a secure password!You have GOT to be kidding.Why ever would I joke about that? Please turn.
Death, taxes and childbirth! There’s never any convenient time for any of them.
Rules and school are tools for fools! I don’t give two mules for rules.
In our civilization, and under our republican form of government, intelligence is so highly honored that it is rewarded by exemption from the cares of office.
Why are they going to disappear him?’I don’t know.’It doesn’t make sense. It isn’t even good grammar.
Common sense is the most widely shared commodity in the world, for every man is convinced that he is well supplied with it.
Pesticides came about after the first world war. Some brainy petrochemical money maker said, ‘Hey, that mustard gas worked great on people, maybe we could dilute it down and spray it on our crops to deal with pests.’
A pessimist is a man who thinks everybody is as nasty as himself, and hates them for it.
All God does is watch us and kill us when we get boring. We must never, ever be boring.
I like to write when I feel spiteful. It is like having a good sneeze.(Letter to Cynthia Asquith, November 1913)
Can you be a girl for a few seconds?I’m always a girl I frown.You know what I mean. Like a silly, annoying girlI twirl my hair around my finger. Kay.
I am a believer in free will. If my dog chooses to hate the whole human race except myself, it must be free to do so.
I’m not going to wear a red dress, she said.It would look stunning, My Lady, she called.She spoke to the bubbles gathered on the surface of the water. If there’s anyone I wish to stun at dinner, I’ll hit him in the face.
I had a dream about you last night. The champagne was non-alcoholic. You didn’t notice, and laughed at my jokes anyway.
What’s with what you’re wearing? Griggs asks while we stand outside waiting for the others.It’s pretty hideous, isn’t it? I say.Don’t force me to look at it, he says. It’s see-through.That kills conversation for a couple of seconds.
Gaia visited her daughter Mnemosyne, who was busy being unpronounceable.
Women don’t want all that. Women just want a partner who is considerate and attentive, who will spoon with them while reciting Keats, and feed them organic yogurt by candlelight on a seaside cliff at sunset.
People are not disturbed by things, but by the view they take of them.
My experience in Amsterdam is that cyclists ride where the hell they like and aim in a state of rage at all pedestrians while ringing their bell loudly, the concept of avoiding people being foreign to them.My dream holiday would be a) a ticket to Amsterdam b) immunity from prosecution and c) a baseball bat.
Truth has no special time of its own. Its hour is now – always.
The caterpillar does all the work, but the butterfly gets all the publicity.
Um, Doc said in a mild voice, medically speaking, I’m not sure that was the most helpful thing for his condition.But I feel better, Jared answered, sullen.Doc smiled the tiniest smile. Well, maybe a few more minutes of unconsciousness won’t kill him.
Maybe our girlfriends are our soulmates and guys are just people to have fun with.
Cheeses crusty, got all musty, got damp on the stone of a peach,” I agreed. He looked blank, so I repeated it with proper emphasis. “ ChEEZ-zes crusty. Got Al -musty. Got DAMp on the StoneofapeaCH.