What I’m expecting is for you to behave like the gentleman I always thought you were.
We have now left Reason and Sanity Junction. Next stop, Looneyville.
Be nice to nerds. You may end up working for them. We all could.
We’re taught that in life, we should try to look on the bright side. Not in this case. In this case, assume rejection first. Assume you’re the rule, not the exception. It’s liberating. But we also know it’s not an easy concept. -He’s not just into you
The whole point of getting things done is knowing what to leave undone.
If you’re anorexic, you’re doing it wrong.I swat him with a dish towel. No, no, I mean anorexics look in the mirror, and even if they’re eighty pounds, they still see a fat girl. I’m a hundred pounds heavier than I was in high school, my veins are full of creme fraiche, and yet I look in the mirror, take in the hair and makeup, and think, Damn, baby, you fiiine.
I try to stay in a constant state of confusion just because of the expression it leaves on my face.
Write it. Shoot it. Publish it. Crochet it, sauté it, whatever. MAKE.
Space is big. You just won’t believe how vastly, hugely, mind-bogglingly big it is. I mean, you may think it’s a long way down the road to the chemist’s, but that’s just peanuts to space.
Excuse me? Tonight you represent every dateless woman in this city, every woman who’s about to sit down to a lonely meal of Weight Watchers past primavera she’s just nuked in the microwave. Every woman who will get into bed tonight with a book or reruns of Sex and the City as her only companion. You are our shining hope….But no pressure.
That’s why I admired that kid who spelled it wrong on purpose so he could sit down. He knew he wasn’t going to win, so why stand there for 3 hours. First round. “Cat, K-A-T, I’m outta here.” Then as he passed you, “Ha! I know there’s 2 T’s.
Men can starve from a lack of self-realization as much as they can from a lack of bread.
Why do people always expect authors to answer questions? I am an author because I want to ask questions. If I had answers, I’d be a politician.
You have a very open relationship with your fans.Yes. We have an open relationship. Obviously they can see other authors if they want, and I can see other readers.
Don’t bite off more than you can chew because nobody looks attractive spitting it back out.
Being a detective isn’t all about torture and murder and monsters. Sometimes it gets truly unpleasant…The fate of the world may depend on whether or not you can bring yourself to visit your relatives.
What makes you think that Valentine’s change of plans had anything to do with your brother? Because only Jace can piss someone off that much.
That’s brain tissue. How can you-? Claire shut her mouth, fast. Never mind. I don’t think I wanna know.Truly, I think that’s best. Please take it. He showed his teeth briefly in a very unsettling grin. I’m giving you a piece of my mind.I so wish you hadn’t said that.
Brianna dropped the skateboard in front of Sam. “Don’t worry: I won’t let you fall off.”“Yeah? Then why did you bring the helmet?”Brianna tossed it to him. “In case you fall off.
The meeting was like a war council with donuts. Then again, back at Camp Half-Blood they used to have their most serious discussions around the Ping-Pong table in the rec room with crackers and Cheez Whiz, so Percy felt right at home.
All are lunatics, but he who can analyze his delusion is called a philosopher.
Down there between our legs, it’s like an entertainment complex in the middle of a sewage system. Who designed that?
Say ‘provoking’ again. Your mouth looks provocative when you do.
Oh, goodie, Puck said as I stepped forward. I’m going to have a rash in the most uncomfortable places.
The man who smiles when things go wrong has thought of someone to blame it on.
The only difference between Hitler and Bush is that Hitler was elected.
Mike nodded. A sombre nod. The nod Napoleon might have given if somebody had met him in 1812 and said, So, you’re back from Moscow, eh?
No, I do my torturing in the dungeon like any other respectable castle owner,
How good one feels when one is full — how satisfied with ourselves and with the world! People who have tried it, tell me that a clear conscience makes you very happy and contented; but a full stomach does the business quite as well, and is cheaper, and more easily obtained.
Marry me, he says. I got all my own teeth, I wash twice a year an I’ll cut you in fer half the business here.
I have detected disturbances in the wash.”The wash?”The space-time wash.”Are we talking about some sort of Vogon laundromat, or what are we talking about?”Eddies in the space-time continuum.”Ah…is he. Is he.”What?”Er, who is Eddy, then, exactly?
Interviewer: ‘So Frank, you have long hair. Does that make you a woman?’Frank Zappa: ‘You have a wooden leg. Does that make you a table?
Insanity: doing the same thing over and over again and expecting different results.
You won’t even take your bow? Are you planning to throttle a moose with your bare hands, then?I’ve a knife in my boot, she said, and then wondered, for a moment, if she could throttle a moose with her bare hands.
His eyes are as green as a fresh pickled toad,His hair is as dark as a blackboard.I wish he was mine, he’s really divine,The hero who conquered the Dark Lord.
Soap?School of America in Paris he explains. SOAP.Nice. My father sent me here to be cleansed.
But Piglet is so small that he slips into a pocket, where it is very comfortable to feel him when you are not quite sure whether twice seven is twelve or twenty-two.
It’s probably a bad indicator of your lifestyle when you miss your ex-boyfriend because he’s absolutely lethal.
It’s okay to be a loser, it just depends on how good you are at being one.
Exactly! said Deep Thought. So once you do know what the question actually is, you’ll know what the answer means.
Etiquette tip: If you’re looking for the right time to leave a party, when the host yells, No one leaves here alive, that’s your cue.
Baby, I could watch you watching paint dry, and I still wouldn’t be bored.” Garrett Graham, my own personal sweet-talker.
There will be no yelling at people who are bleeding themselves to unconsciousness.
Nothing exists except atoms and empty space; everything else is opinion.
Every year, many, many stupid people graduate from college. And if they can do it, so can you.
Shouldn’t someone give a pep talk or something? Minho asked, pulling Thomas’s attention away from Alby.Go ahead, Newt replied.Minho nodded and faced the crowd. Be careful, he said dryly. Don’t die.
How do you fight someone smarter than yourself?’ Rand Whispered. ‘The answer is simple. You make her think that you are sitting down across the table from her, ready to play her game. Then you punch her in the face as hard as you can.
Every now and then I like to do as I’m told, just to confuse people.
Making love to me is amazing. Wait, I meant: making love, to me, is amazing. The absence of two little commas nearly transformed me into a sex god.
BE QUIET!!…What do you want…? I was in the middle of saying something nice…
Why did Mother ask you to help me rescue Gelsi?” I asked Leif.“She thought I could assist you in some way. Instead, I had tried to—”“Kill me? You can join the ‘I Want to Kill Yelena Guild.’ I hear they have six members in good standing. Valek is president since he had wanted to kill me twice.
This is a mournful discovery.1)Those who agree with you are insane2)Those who do not agree with you are in power.
I was watching a collection of vintage ’80s cereal commercials when I paused to wonder why cereal manufacturers no longer included toy prizes inside every box. It was a tragedy, in my opinion. Another sign that civilization was going straight down the tubes.