The house smelled musty and damp, and a little sweet, as if it were haunted by the ghosts of long-dead cookies.
What do you think they’re going to do to us when they find us guilty? she says after a few minutes of silence have passed.Honestly?Does now seem like the time for honesty?I look at her from the corner of my eye. I think they’re going to force us to eat lots of cake and then take an unreasonably long nap.
Before I could lose my courage, I said, Don’t I get a kiss for luck? It’s kind of a tradition, right?I figured she would punch me. Instead, she drew her knife and stared at the army marching toward us. Come back alive, Seaweed Brain. Then, we’ll see.
I don’t really like coffee, she said, but I don’t really like it when my head hits my desk when I fall asleep either.
Give a man a fish, and you’ll feed him for a day. Teach a man to fish, and he’ll buy a funny hat. Talk to a hungry man about fish, and you’re a consultant.
We’re going to knock those demons out and slay them with the power of Jesus. Hallelujah, can I get an amen?- Timmie
Fred, you next, the plump woman said. I’m not Fred, I’m George, said the boy. Honestly, woman, you call yourself our mother? Can’t you tell I’m George? Sorry, George, dear. Only joking, I am Fred, said the boy and off he went.
You have to remember one thing about the will of the people: it wasn’t that long ago that we were swept away by the Macarena.
Did you see me disarm Hermione, Harry?Only once said Hermione stung. I got you loads more then you got me—I did not only get you once, I got you at least three times—Well if you’re counting the one where you tripped over your own feet and knocked the wand out of my hand—
You can laugh! But people used to believe there were no such things as the Blibbering Humdinger or the Crumple-Horned Snorkack!
I have only made this letter longer because I have not had the time to make it shorter.(Letter 16, 1657)
Eragon looked back at him, confused. I don’t understand.Of course you don’t, said Brom impatiently. That’s why I’m teaching you and not the other way around.
I always pass on good advice. It is the only thing to do with it. It is never of any use to oneself.
Dreams like a podcast,Downloading truth in my ears.They tell me cool stuff.Apollo? I guess, because I figured nobody else could make a haiku that bad.He put his finger to his lips. I’m incognito. Call me Fred.A god named Fred?
What is it with you today?” says Christina on the way to breakfast. Her eyes are stillswollen from sleep and her tangled hair forms a fuzzy halo around her face.“Oh, you know,” I say. “Sun shining. Birds chirping.”She raises an eyebrow at me, as if reminding me that we are in an undergroundtunnel.
She’s the sort of woman who lives for others – you can tell the others by their hunted expression.
I have great faith in fools – self-confidence my friends will call it.
If you love something set it free, but don’t be surprised if it comes back with herpes.
One should always be in love. That’s the reason one should never marry.
Fate is like a strange, unpopular restaurant filled with odd little waiters who bring you things you never asked for and don’t always like.
I went to a bookstore and asked the saleswoman, ‘Where’s the self-help section?’ She said if she told me, it would defeat the purpose.
– Did you really save the world ?…- Mostly I was saving my own ass. Just happend that the world was in the same spot.
Locke sighed.’So this is winning,’ he said.’It is,’ replied Jean. ‘It can go fuck itself,’ said Locke.
You are my whole heart, Scarlet. And this is breaking it.’My heart cracked open and clear dropped out of me. My mouth opened, and I looked round me and stamped my foot. ‘Does this look like a good time to tell me that, you damn stupid boy?’ I meant to sound mean but my voice wobbled. ‘Now?’He gave a little smile. ‘My foul-mouthed warrior.
Home is where, when you go there and tell people to get out, they have to leave.
If a person with multiple personalities threatens suicide, is that considered a hostage situation?
You must have been going very fast.I was, until I hit the fence.
Scriptures, n. The sacred books of our holy religion, as distinguished from the false and profane writings on which all other faiths are based.
I had a dream about you. You were an escalator, and I was a flight of stairs. You thought I was a Luddite, and I thought I was as ostrich, because I hadn’t figured out how to put the fly in flight. One day you broke down, and then you saw that you and I weren’t so different after all.
I gave him my best cryptic smile. He did not fall down to his feet, kiss my shoes, and promise me the world. I must be getting rusty.
Oh… Adrian, I’ve got one more favor to ask you. A big one. Fondue? he asked hopefully.
You backbiting, poisonous, treacherous, deceitful, wicked, clever girl. If this works I’ll buy you a pony.
Simon: So were you following me? Or is it just an amazing coincidence that you happened to be on the roof of a building I was walking by when I got attacked?Jace: I was following you.Simon: Is this the part where you tell me you’re secretly in love with me?
Fortunately, among werewolf women, the word bitch is not offensive. I was having a lot of fun with that.Hey there, bitches! I called as I came through the door. What are my favorite bitches up to today?
Actually, I was the very lowest ranked member of the crew. I would only be “in command” if I were the only remaining person.”What do you know? I’m in command
I think it’s kinda nice.’ And I did. my mom isn’t famous for her pies. No, she’s famous for defusing a nuclear device in Brussels with only a pair of cuticle scissors and a ponytail holder. Somehow, at the moment, pies seemed cooler.
Stairs, Valkyrie said, disappointed.Not just ordinary stairs, Skulduggery told her as he led the way down. Magic stairs.Really?Oh, yes.She followed him into the darkness. How are they magic?They just are.In what way?In a magicky way.She glared at the back of his head. They aren’t magic at all, are they?Not really.
SighDid you just say sigh? out loud? instead of actually sighing?Eye roll
What is Man? Man is a noisome bacillus whom Our Heavenly Father created because he was disappointed in the monkey.
Piece of Heaven? No, that other place I’m going to go to for thinking what I’m thinking.
Max, you’re the last of the hybrids who still has…a soul.’ … ‘She doesn’t have soul,’ Gazzy scoffed. ‘Have you ever seen her dance?
I think the warning labels on alcoholic beverages are too bland. They should be more vivid. Here is one I would suggest: Alcohol will turn you into the same asshole your father was.
An original idea. That can’t be too hard. The library must be full of them.
I can’t give you the white picket fence, and if I did, you’d set it on fire.
Look, let me just say it: He was hot. A nonhot boy stares at you relentlessly and it is, at best, awkward and, at worst, a form of assault. But a hot boy . . . well.
I do this real moron thing, and it’s called thinking. And apparently I’m not a very good American because I like to form my own opinions.
If we’re going to the Silent City, you might want to get dressed. I mean, I appreciate the bra-and-panties look, but I don’t know if the Silent Brothers will. There are only a few of the left, and I don’t want them to die of excitement.
Do not do that again, he said stiffly.Don’t kiss me back then, I retorted.He stared at me for what seemed like forever. I don’t give ‘Zen lessons’ to hear myself talk. I don’t give them because you’re another student. I’m doing this to teach you control.You’re doing a great job, I said bitterly.
Maturity is a bitter disappointment for which no remedy exists, unless laughter could be said to remedy anything.
Well, that’s your opinion, isn’t it? And I’m not about to waste my time trying to change it.
Have you ever noticed that anybody driving slower than you is an idiot, and anyone going faster than you is a maniac?
Some people say, “Never let them see you cry.” I say, if you’re so mad you could just cry, then cry. It terrifies everyone.
Sometimes when I’m talking, my words can’t keep up with my thoughts. I wonder why we think faster than we speak. Probably so we can think twice.
From the moment I picked up your book until I put it down, I was convulsed with laughter. Some day I intend reading it.
I’m sure the universe is full of intelligent life. It’s just been too intelligent to come here.