Maybe you should say goodbye, Cal.”No.”It might be important.”It might make her die.
Maybe the cat has fallen into the stew, or the lettuce has frozen, or the cake has collapsed. Eh bien, tant pis. Usually one’s cooking is better than one thinks it is. And if the food is truly vile, then the cook must simply grit her teeth and bear it with a smile, and learn from her mistakes.
Let’s pick it up, the man behind her said. How many more of the tranquilizers do you have?Just three, the girl panted.Gonna have to restock.Right. I’ll just… head down… to the convenience store, and- she didn’t finish, the strain too much.
The alarm in the morning? Well, I have an old tape of Carlo Maria Giulini conducting the Vienna Philharmonic Orchestra in a perfectly transcendent version in Shubert’s seventh symphony. And I’ve rigged it up so that at exactly 7:30 every morning it falls from the ceiling onto my face.
Running ain’t no bad thing. Leastways if you run in the right direction.
You can hear my dreams? God, you must never get any quiet. I’d be shooting myself in the head if I were you.
Meg, don’t you think you’d make a better adjustment to life if you faced facts? I do face facts, Meg said.They’re lots easier to face than people, I can tell you.
Pompous fools drive me up the wall. Ordinary fools are alright; you can talk to them and try to help them out. But pompous fools – guys who are fools and covering it all over and impressing people as to how wonderful they are with all this hocus pocus – THAT, I CANNOT STAND! An ordinary fool isn’t a faker; an honest fool is all right. But a dishonest fool is terrible!
Closed. Plenty of time to see it later, remember? He leads me into the courtyard, and I take the opportunity to admire his backside. Callipygian. There is something better than Notre-Dame.
Should I pull on a shirt? he asked with hint of amusement. I WILL NOT BLUSH. No. He’d be doing the world a favor if he never wore a shirt again, but I wasn’t going to tell him that part. You’re fine.
If God wanted a world filled with saints, He never would have created adolescence.
Yeah. Floyd is his batman.His what?Batman, like in the British army, each officer had a batman, a personal servant.You spend too much time reading, Spenser. You know more stuff that don’t make you money than anybody I know.
A man once said, ‘All you need in this life is ignorance and confidence; then success is sure.’ Mark Twain, you know. He had a fine mustache. Men of wisdom so often do.
Specifically, I’d like to debate whether cannibalism ought to be grounds for leniency in murders, since it’s less wasteful.
Rhett: If you’ve made up your mind to impale someone, do it with conviction.
Tyrion let the eunuch help him mount. Lord Varys, he said from the saddle, sometimes I feel as though you are the best friend I have in King’s Landing and sometimes I feel you are my worst enemy. How odd. I think quite the same of you.
What should I say? ‘Well, the murder was a little upsetting, and the fire did worry me a bit. I was nearly date-raped and my ex best friend is crazy. But, hey, at least I’m making an A in History’?
Religion, n. A daughter of Hope and Fear, explaining to Ignorance the nature of the Unknowable.
No, said Luis, You can’t date the Lord of the Night Court.Well, I’m not, he dumped me.You can’t get dumped by the lord of the night court.Oh, yes, you can. You so completely can.
No matter how much the cats fight, there always seem to be plenty of kittens.
When one thing takes another away, what do we call that?” she asked my class. “Homicide!” I called out
People who smile while they are alone used to be called insane, until we invented smartphones and social media.
Of course. Because at the Gallagher Academy, precautions usually equals voluntary shock therapy.
What’s the point of being a grown-up if you don’t get to be immature?
Everything has its drawbacks, as the man said when his mother-in-law died, and they came down upon him for the funeral expenses.
Walking around nude in front of humans was not a good way to keep a low profile with the community. It was an excellent way to make new friends, though.
My dearest girl,’ said the vampire finally, examining Lord Maccon with an exhausted but appreciative eye, ‘such a banquet. Never been one to favor werewolves myself, but he is very well equipped, now, is he not?’Miss Tarabotti gave him an arch look. ‘My goodies,’ she warned.Humans,’ chuckled the vampire, ‘so possessive.
When did you become a woman?-HatoriHow dare you ask that after you have seen me naked so many times…-YukiGASP! No it cant be! Yuki-kun, does that mean… fan club girlsNO! He’s my doctor…Yuki
Heifer.”“Rich man’s whore!”“At least mine can cook the food he eats. And replaces it, too.”“Now see, Dee-Ann Smith. That was just mean!
The day I can’t pull something useful out of my ass is the day I quit sticking things up my ass.
Mr. McGregor’s a nasty piece of work, isn’t he? Quite the Darth Vader of children’s literature.
Maybe we should go on lots of double dates,” Cath said, “and then we can get married on the same day in a double ceremony, in matching dresses, and the four of us will light the unity candle all at the same time.”“Pfft,” Levi said, “I’m picking out my own dress.
Something bad was about to happen. My wife was being clever again.
Who knew? I had no idea that someone could be such a thorn in your foot during a death march and still be irresistibly attractive in some magical, undeniable way.So is this what people call sweet nothings? Because somehow, I expected it to be a little more…complementary.
The kiss originated when the first male reptile licked the first female reptile, implying in a subtle way that she was as succulent as the small reptile he had for dinner the night before.
Why couldn’t you turn into a fireball when we were on the same team!
The powers of a man’s mind are directly proportioned to the quantity of coffee he drinks.
Sir Beldevere: What makes you think she’s a witch? Peasant 3: Well, she turned me into a newt! Sir Beldevere: A newt? Peasant 3: [meekly after a long pause] … I got better. Crowd: [shouts] Burn her anyway!
Don’t explain computers to laymen. Simpler to explain sex to a virgin.
I see you’re a man with ideals. I better be going before you’ve still got them.
You don’t happen to have a thousand dollars I can borrow? I don’t have five you can borrow. My piggy bank is officialy anorexic.
You’re not as sexy as I think you are.” She squinted. Wait. That hadn’t come out right.
I wanted to wake you straightaway, but I knew I had to wait several hours to ensure you were safely recovered.What! How long has it been?Five minutes. I got bored.
How do you deal with it? Kami asked Jared. The laughing at nothing and occasionally stopping dead in your tracks.I have a system where when I stop, I lean casually against something, Jared told her. It makes people think I’m a bad boy. Or possibly that I have a bad back.
There must be a mistake, I said. He adjusted his bag on his shoulder. That’s a creative name. What do you shorten it to? Missy?
He was a gentle and sensitive soul, and therefore had a short temper, which is why he went straight after everything with an ax…
People think first love is sweet, and never sweeter than when that first bond snaps. You’ve heard a thousand pop and country songs that prove the point; some fool got his heart broke. Yet that first broken heart is always the most painful, the slowest to mend, and leaves the most visible scar. What’s so sweet about that?
You told me I was the best sex you’d ever had in your life…You couldn’t get enough…At one point you were so loud I thought sure hotel security was going to beat down the door.
If 50 million people say something foolish, it is still foolish.
By the way, when you finish the bottle of Crown Royal, you can still use the pouch to hold your broken dreams.
You are putting yourself in serious danger…’I think that I preferred to put myself in serious danger rather than confront my shame. My shame at not having become someone, the shame of not having made my parents proud after all the sacrifices they had made for me. The shame of having become a mediocre nihilist.
If you want to be seen, stand up.If you want to be heard, speak up.If you want to be appreciated, shut up.