I’m not absolutely certain of my facts, but I rather fancy it’s Shakespeare — or, if not, it’s some equally brainy lad — who says that it’s always just when a chappie is feeling particularly top-hole, and more than usually braced with things in general that Fate sneaks up behind him with a bit of lead piping.
I love being in love, but I also love other things, like not being jealous, overly sensitive, or needy.
I don’t know where people got the idea that characters in books are supposed to be likable. Books are not in the business of creating merely likeable characters with whom you can have some simple identification with. Books are in the business of creating great stories that make you’re brain go ahhbdgbdmerhbergurhbudgerbudbaaarr.
There are things that are so serious that you can only joke about them.
God, if you ever loved me, open my eyes for me when I’m being this stupid! (Ron)
Why would you throw a ball in someone’s face?…Huh. That’s a pretty good reason. Well, I can’t do much about your teacher being pissed, but me and you are good.
To say I had some pent-up anger would be like saying Britney Spears had minor impulse-control issues.
I do not, I felt oddly appalled by her statement. I’m an excellent liar. Ask my dentist. He swears I floss regularly.
For the record, I would like to point out that it is NOT being obsessive to memorize a boy’s schedule so that you can accidentally bump into him. It is called being efficient.
Hugging my pillow to my chest, I told myself, At least soon you won’t have so much time to miss him. Soon school will start again, and then you’ll be busier. Wait. Am I reduced to HOPING for school to start? Somehow, I have discovered a whole new level of pathetic.
You couldn’t be satisfied with being an amateur asshole, could you, Jimbo! You had to go and turn pro on me!
My relationship with my father had been on the proverbial fritz since the time I was fifteen and called the police to report him for child molesting. He had never molested me, but I wanted to have a party that weekend and needed him out of the house.
I would so hate to be a first-person character! Always on your guard, always having people read your thoughts!
I’m trying to make some sense out of the phrase Everything happens for a reason, and I think I’ve figured out what the reason is – to pissed me off.
Well, thanks for not shooting anyone, I guess, said Marcus. My contribution was to somehow refrain from peeing myself. You can thank me later.
Bite me, Goth princess,” Shane called from the back. “Not literally or anything.”“Maybe you should say that to Michael.”“Not funny, Eve,” Michael said.Eve raised her eyebrows and held her fingers up, measuring off about an inch. “Little bit,” she said.
Psychotics, say what you want about them, tend to make the first move.
Do you always ask me the same questions you ask him?It depends on whether or not I get an answer.
Who cares even if I didn’t?! Conor shouted back. They’re just stupid berries. Woo-hoo, so scary. Oh, please, please, save me from the berries!The monster looked at him quizzically. How strange, it said. The words you say tell me you are scared of the berries, but your actions seems to suggest otherwise.
I mean to say, I know perfectly well that I’ve got, roughly speaking, half the amount of brain a normal bloke ought to possess. And when a girl comes along who has about twice the regular allowance, she too often makes a bee line for me with the love light in her eyes. I don’t know how to account for it, but it is so.It may be Nature’s provision for maintaining the balance of the species, sir.
I rode an elevator with a guy who was whistling the tune of ‘this is the song that never ends’. Putting that on me? Come on dude..
A whizzpopper! cried the BFG, beaming at her. Us giants is making whizzpoppers all the time! Whizzpopping is a sign of happiness. It is music in our ears! You surely is not telling me that a little whizzpopping if forbidden among human beans?
When I was poor and complained about inequality they said I was bitter; now that I’m rich and I complain about inequality they say I’m a hypocrite. I’m beginning to think they just don’t want to talk about inequality.
I was happy in the haze of a drunken hour, but heaven knows I’m miserable now.
Just as I had long suspected, a person didn’t really need math for anything anyway. Maybe some people did. Some limited people.
My capacity for happiness, he added, you could fit into a matchbox without taking out the matches first
Even now, despite Angeline’s watchfulness, she’d occasionally oscillate between random topics, like how shepherd’s pie wasn’t a pie at all and why it was pointless for her to take class in typing when technology would eventually develop robot companions to do it for us.
Those guys who want to have the Mohawk…which, to me, is the new business casual.
The ill-informed masses included her own family among their ranks, a family that specialized in being both inconvenient and asinine.
I hate women who complain about being fat when they’re like a size 5. Anything under size 5 isn’t a woman. It’s a boy with breasts.
Girls like good-looking guys, and I am not very good-looking. In fact, I sort of look like a pudding
If you don’t make a few ememies now and then, you’re a coward-or worse. Besides, it as worth it to see his reaction. Oh, he was angry!- Angela to Eragon
Dear God in heaven.” Nik and Ban turned away, but Alek stood. Transfixed. “My God, y’all. She’s the worst goddamn dancer I’ve ever seen.” “Turn away. It’ll hurt your eyes. Turn away!
A Christian telling an atheist they’re going to hell is as scary as a child telling an adult they’re not getting any presents from Santa.
Sometimes I can’t figure designers out. It’s as if they flunked human anatomy.
Sun is bad for you. Everything our parents said was good is bad. Sun, milk, red meat…college,
That craptastical, gutless, son-of-a-cactus-humping butt monkey!!
A crossbow?” Pigeon asked.I left my battle-ax in my other jeans,” the man said.
To paraphrase Oedipus, Hamlet, Lear, and all those guys, I wish I had known this some time ago.
Properly practiced, knitting soothes the troubled spirit, and it doesn’t hurt the untroubled spirit either.
I’d never met coffee that wasn’t wonderful. It was just a matter of how wonderful it was.
I didn’t know you had a girlfriend, Griggs. Anson Choi feigns surprise. What’s her name?I didn’t actually catch her name, Griggs continues.Lily, Raffaela says over her shoulder and this time I give her a sideways look.Great to know that I’m in love with a girl with a cool name.It’s Taylor’s middle name, Raffaela calls back again.
I thought you said you were the one in charge! Ce’Nedra exclaimed.I lied. Silk said. It’s a vice I have.
In Paris they just simply opened their eyes and stared when we spoke to them in French! We never did succeed in making those idiots understand their own language.
Always watch where you are going. Otherwise, you may step on a piece of the Forest that was left out by mistake.
Nozy Cat lifted one sleepy eyelid, and his marble blue eye glared at her for interrupting his sacred nap. He wore a yellow collar with little red stars printed on it. His second eyelid also opened, and he gave them his irritated blue-eyed glare.
His gaze slid over me like a veil of fire. He could ignite my deepest desires with a single glance. I decided right then and there no more reading romance novels by candelight.
The idealist hopes. The romantic sees doom. The postmodernist sees doom and hopes.
As for Gussie Finknottle, many an experienced undertaker would have been deceived by his appearance and started embalming on sight.
On a fundamental level, I am someone who would throw sand at children.
I’m looking into my past lives. I’m convinced some of them still owe me money.
Really, I’m trying to care, Artemis, really. But I thought it was all supposed to be over when the fat lady sings. Well, she’s singing, but it doesn’t appear to be over