Good-humor is a philosophic state of mind; it seems to say to Nature that we take her no more seriously than she takes us. I maintain that one should always talk of philosophy with a smile.
We’ll meet at the theater tonight. I’ll hold your seat ’til you get there. Once you get there; you’re on your own.
Discipline allows magic. To be a writer is to be the very best of assassins. You do not sit down and write every day to force the Muse to show up. You get into the habit of writing every day so that when she shows up, you have the maximum chance of catching her, bashing her on the head, and squeezing every last drop out of that bitch.
He moved to sniff some white-and-yellow flowers.A nightmare. This was a nightmare. “You can’t really like flowers.”Again those dark eyes shifted to her. Blinked once. I most certainly do, he seemed to say.
When I was little I bragged about my firefighting father: my father would go to heaven, because if he went to hell he would put out all the fires
A bank is a place where they lend you an umbrella in fair weather and ask for it back when it begins to rain.
I have nightmares about hell, where all I do is add up numbers and try to have conversations with people like you.
Miss Fitt, you know curiosity gets men killed.I grinned. Then I daresay it’s good I’m a woman.
Basically, all women are nurturers and healers, and all men are mental patients to varying degrees.
Apparently, dancing for him and throwing herself at him weren’t enough. Apparently, she had to nearly commit murder to arouse him enough to attack her.
I’m happy to tell you there is very little in this world that I believe in.
There are those who scoff at the schoolboy, calling him frivolous andshallow: Yet it was the schoolboy who said ‘Faith is believing what youknow ain’t so’.
Heaven has no taste.Now-And not one single sushi restaurant.A look of pain crossed the angel’s suddenly very serious face.
Gimme an S! A T! An O! A C! Followed by a K-H-O-L-M! What’s it spell? HEAD FUCK.- Jane
Bruce Wayne’s parents get killed and he goes to Tibet or whatever, and Superman is an alien, and Spiderman had that radioactive spider. Me? I kissed a janitor in the school bathroom.
I’d have been dead a long time ago if not for my friends, one of whom had just jumped off the cliff after me. I’d have been a lot more appreciative if he hadn’t pushed me first. ~Cassandra Palmer
Books are to me as homemade tattoos are to an inmate. Can’t get enough of them.
Holly’s theory about the army, Sharon explained.And what is it? Denise asked, intrigued.Oh, that fighting for peace is like screwing for virginity.
Sex is like air; it’s not important unless you aren’t getting any.
Bishops move diagonally. That’s why they often turn up where the kings don’t expect them to be.
Finding a life partner is like choosing a bed. You need one as a friend either in times of health or sickness. Freshness or weariness. Happiness or sadness. And we can be certain that we’ve picked the right one without having to sleep with it first.
Mulling this over, Vlad wiped her lip gloss from his lips with the back of his hand.Vampires, after all, didn’t sparkle.
I had learned that you should always shout louder than your aggressor.
Not too fast, called Raoul. Let’s not scare anyone.His majesty said with all deliberate speed! chirped the courier. He flinched under Lerant’s glare. That’s how we’re doing it, Raoul told him. Deliberately.
I sometimes think I prefer suitors in books rather than right in front of me. How awful, backward, cowardly, and mentally warped that will be if it turns out to be true.
First Pallas and now you,” the gray-haired man said, shaking his head at Nick. “It’s like I’m running a goddamn dating service around here.
Nobody will ever win the battle of the sexes. There is too much fraternizing with the enemy.
A man in love is incomplete until he has married. Then he’s finished.
You want to change? Lose the bitch. Be nicer to people. Stop telling them to bite you and threatening to kick them until they’re dead.
My bookcase is all yours.I walked to the door. I’ve just decided that those are my favorite five words in the world.
Every time you come in yelling that God damn Rise and Shine! Rise and Shine! I say to myself, How lucky dead people are!
Librarians are the secret masters of the world. They control information. Don’t ever piss one off.
You know how spooky Ashwini is. She called an hour ago to tell me she has a secret stash of handheld grenade launchers she thought I might want to know about. My response was, ‘What the fuck?
Principled hate is a hell of a lot stronger than Boy, I wish you hadn’t mummified me and thrown me into the lake hate.
While browsing in a second-hand bookshop one day, George Bernard Shaw was amused to find a copy of one of his own works which he himself had inscribed for a friend: To —-, with esteem, George Bernard Shaw.He immediately purchased the book and returned it to the friend with a second inscription: With renewed esteem, George Bernard Shaw.
People who entered the Courtyard without an invitation were just plain crazy! Wolves were big and scary and so fluffy, how could anyone resist hugging one just to feel all that fur?“Ignore the fluffy,” she muttered. “Remember the part about big and scary.
You think I’d cheat on you? I demanded with all the innocent outrage I could muster.With another guy, no. With a cheeseburger . . . in a heartbeat.
I never understood how men could remember all those details about sports but, yet, were incapable of remembering where they set their car keys or wallet.
The essence of Christianity is told us in the Garden of Eden history. The fruit that was forbidden was on the tree of knowledge. The subtext is, ‘All the suffering you have is because you wanted to find out what was going on. You could be in the Garden of Eden if you had just kept your fucking mouth shut and hadn’t asked any questions.
We do need a system, and we do need you and your ‘Bertos, and sometimes we need Sam to just come along and kick some ass. – Quinn
A singer can shatter glass with the proper high note, he said, but the simplest way to break glass is simply to drop it on the floor.
This is so cool, I said loudly as Dad walked away. Have you met the tattoo artist? Is he hot? He’s a she, Mom said. Is she hot? Cause I’m still young, you know. My sexual identity isnt fully formed. Your father can’t hear you anymore, Maya. Mom sighed.
Horse sense is the thing a horse has which keeps it from betting on people.
This paper, by its very length, defends itself from ever being read.
Such is the vastness of his genius that he can outwit even himself.
If money’s the god people worship, I’d rather go worship the devil instead.
Two things that matter to me. Emotional resonance and rocket launchers.
I’ve seen more intelligence in the crotch lice of harem whores.
Saphira waved her tail, the tip whistling loudly. I’m not asking you to. However, if we attack first, we may gain the advantage. Have you gone crazy? They’ll… Eragon’s voice trailed off as he thought about it. They won’t be able to do a thing. Exactly, said Saphira. We can inflict lots of damage from a safe height. Let’s drop rocks on them!
She’s the kind of girl who climbed the ladder of success wrong by wrong.
Speed eliminates all doubt. Am I smart enough? Will people like me? Do I really look all right in this plastic jumpsuit?
In a series of events, all of which had been a bit thick, this, in his opinion, achieved the maximum of thickness.
He studied my appearance carefully. “You cut your hair.” “Yes. Do you like it?” “That depends. How long is it?” I pulled a curl down and showed him it ended just past my shoulder. He grunted, “That’s still long enough, so I like it.” “Long enough for what?” “Long enough for a man to run his hands through.
Cam’s wings were so bright they were almost blinding as they pulsed. Holy Hell, Callie whispered, blinking.More or less, Arriane said