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Quote №19075

Humor Quotes
Author: Eoin Colfer

Confidence is ignorance. If you’re feeling cocky, it’s because there’s something you don’t know.

Quote №19060

Humor Quotes
Author: Dorothy Parker

Beauty is only skin deep, but ugly goes clean to the bone.

Quote №19053

Humor Quotes
Author: Jay McInerney

The capacity for friendship is God’s way of apologizing for our families.

Quote №19044

Humor Quotes
Author: J.R. Ward

Welcome to the wonderful world of jealousy, he thought. For the price of admission, you get a splitting headache, a nearly irresistable urge to commit murder, and an inferiority complex. Yippee.

Quote №19036

Humor Quotes
Author: Voltaire

It is forbidden to kill; therefore all murderers are punished unless they kill in large numbers and to the sound of trumpets.

Quote №19035

Humor Quotes
Author: Mo Willems

If you ever find yourself in the wrong story, leave.

Quote №19034

Humor Quotes
Author: Tina Fey

Do your thing and don’t care if they like it.

Quote №19033

Humor Quotes
Author: Arthur Conan Doyle

It is a great thing to start life with a small number of really good books which are your very own.

Quote №19024

Humor Quotes
Author: Miguel de Cervantes Saavedra

Finally, from so little sleeping and so much reading, his brain dried up and he went completely out of his mind.

Quote №19021

Humor Quotes
Author: James Patterson

Basically, I have two speeds…. Hostile or smart-aleck. Your choice.

Quote №19019

Humor Quotes
Author: J.R.R. Tolkien

Do you wish me a good morning, or mean that it is a good morning whether I want it or not; or that you feel good this morning; or that it is a morning to be good on?

Quote №18998

Humor Quotes
Author: A.A. Milne

People say nothing is impossible, but I do nothing every day.

Quote №18996

Humor Quotes
Author: Charles Dickens

There is nothing in the world so irresistibly contagious as laughter and good humor.

Quote №18991

Humor Quotes
Author: Winston S. Churchill

My tastes are simple: I am easily satisfied with the best.

Quote №18989

Humor Quotes
Author: Anthony G. Oettinger

Time flies like an arrow; fruit flies like a banana.

Quote №18980

Humor Quotes
Author: Dr. Seuss

Fantasy is a necessary ingredient in living, it’s a way of looking at life through the wrong end of a telescope.

Quote №18977

Humor Quotes
Author: Roald Dahl

So please, oh please, we beg, we pray,Go throw your TV set away,And in its place you can installA lovely bookshelf on the wall.Then fill the shelves with lots of books.

Quote №18976

Humor Quotes
Author: Maya Angelou

I love to see a young girl go out and grab the world by the lapels. Life’s a bitch. You’ve got to go out and kick ass.

Quote №18974

Humor Quotes
Author: John Green

What the hell is that? I laughed.It’s my fox hat.Your fox hat?Yeah, Pudge. My fox hat.Why are you wearing your fox hat? I asked.Because no one can catch the motherfucking fox.

Quote №18964

Humor Quotes
Author: Stephen King

When his life was ruined, his family killed, his farm destroyed, Job knelt down on the ground and yelled up to the heavens, Why god? Why me? and the thundering voice of God answered, There’s just something about you that pisses me off.

Quote №18963

Humor Quotes
Author: Friedrich Nietzsche

It is hard enough to remember my opinions, without also remembering my reasons for them!

Quote №18962

Humor Quotes
Author: Jerome K. Jerome

I like work: it fascinates me. I can sit and look at it for hours.

Quote №18951

Humor Quotes
Author: Mark Twain

Substitute ‘damn’ every time you’re inclined to write ‘very;’ your editor will delete it and the writing will be just as it should be.

Quote №18934

Humor Quotes
Author: C.E.M. Joad

Creativity is knowing how to hide your sources

Quote №18932

Humor Quotes
Author: Cassandra Clare

Jesus! Luke exclaimed.Actually, it’s just me, said Simon. Although I’ve been told the resemblance is startling.

Quote №18930

Humor Quotes
Author: Terry Johnson

Have you ever noticed how ‘What the hell’ is always the right decision to make?

Quote №18922

Humor Quotes
Author: George Carlin

The reason I talk to myself is because I’m the only one whose answers I accept.

Quote №18921

Humor Quotes
Author: Benjamin Franklin Wade

Go to heaven for the climate and hell for the company.

Quote №18919

Humor Quotes
Author: Terry Pratchett

The trouble with having an open mind, of course, is that people will insist on coming along and trying to put things in it.

Quote №18914

Humor Quotes
Author: Paul Terry

Whenever I feel the need to exercise, I lie down until it goes away.

Quote №18912

Humor Quotes
Author: Jim Henson

Beauty is in the eye of the beholder and it may be necessary from time to time to give a stupid or misinformed beholder a black eye.

Quote №18911

Humor Quotes
Author: Charles M. Schulz

All you need is love. But a little chocolate now and then doesn’t hurt.

Quote №18909

Humor Quotes
Author: Garrison Keillor

Anyone who thinks sitting in church can make you a Christian must also think that sitting in a garage can make you a car.

Quote №18906

Humor Quotes
Author: Jane Austen

The person, be it gentleman or lady, who has not pleasure in a good novel, must be intolerably stupid.

Quote №18903

Humor Quotes
Author: Albert Einstein

Two things are infinite: the universe and human stupidity; and I’m not sure about the universe.

Quote №18901

Humor Quotes
Author: Groucho Marx

Outside of a dog, a book is man’s best friend. Inside of a dog it’s too dark to read.

Quote №26894

Death Quotes
Author: Markus Zusak

They say that war is death’s best friend, but I must offer you a different point of view on that one. To me, war is like the new boss who expects the impossible. He stands over your shoulder repeating one thin, incessantly: ‘Get it done, get it done.’ So you work harder. You get the job done. The boss, however, does not thank you. He asks for more.

Quote №29134

Death Quotes
Author: Lauren DeStefano

It doesn’t matter how much his mother loves him; love is not enough to keep any of us alive.

Quote №33167

Time Quotes
Author: Tananarive Due

How ironic it was that mortals, who had the least time of all, were willing to waste so much of it away from the people they love.

Quote №30739

Time Quotes
Author: Mitch Albom

It’s such a shame to waste time. We always think we have so much of it.

Quote №10885

Life Quotes
Author: Candace Bushnell

The universe may not always play fair, but at least it’s got a hell of a sense of humor.

Quote №25471

Philosophy Quotes
Author: Michael Moore

What really went wrong is that General Motors has had this philosophy from the beginning that what’s good for General Motors is good for the country. So, their attitude was, ‘We’ll build it and you buy it. We’ll tell you what to buy. You just buy it.’

Quote №31316

Time Quotes
Author: Victoria Aveyard

Time is passing. My life is moving on, no matter how much I want it to stay the same.

Quote №24383

Philosophy Quotes
Author: Stephen Batchelor

This body is fragile. It is just flesh. Listen to the heartbeat. Life depends on the pumping of a muscle.

Quote №23661

Philosophy Quotes
Author: Isaac Newton

Les hommes construisent trop de murs et pas assez de ponts.

Quote №34420

Time Quotes
Author: James L. Brooks

I took some time out for life.

Quote №28939

Death Quotes
Author: Andrew Marvell

But at my back I always hear Time’s wingèd chariot hurrying near; And yonder all before us lie Deserts of vast eternity. Thy beauty shall no more be found; Nor, in thy marble vault, shall sound My echoing song; then worms shall try That long-preserved virginity, And your quaint honour turn to dust, And into ashes all my lust; The grave’s a fine and private place, But none, I think, do there embrace.

Quote №26654

Death Quotes
Author: James Patterson

The funny thing about facing imminent death is that it really snaps everything else into perspective.

Quote №27749

Death Quotes
Author: Richard P. Feynman

But there is nothing in biology yet found that indicates the inevitability of death.

Quote №28276

Death Quotes
Author: Henry David Thoreau

Every blade in the field – Every leaf in the forest – lays down its life in its season as beautifully as it was taken up.

Quote №18219

Life Quotes
Author: Jack Kerouac

Maybe that’s what life is… a wink of the eye and winking stars.

Quote №18829

Inspirational Quotes

When we seek to discover the best in others, we somehow bring out the best in ourselves.

Quote №18827

Inspirational Quotes

Most of us have far more courage than we ever dreamed we possessed.

Quote №9956

Life Quotes
Author: Elizabeth Gilbert

The Bhagavad Gita–that ancient Indian Yogic text–says that it is better to live your own destiny imperfectly than to live an imitation of somebody else’s life with perfection.

Quote №28136

Death Quotes
Author: Bernard Berenson

A complete life may be one ending in so full identification with the non-self that there is no self to die.

Quote №18415

Life Quotes
Author: Hans Christian Andersen

Life itself is the most wonderful fairy tale.

Quote №18412

Life Quotes
Author: Leonardo da Vinci

As a well-spent day brings happy sleep, so a life well spent brings happy death.

Quote №18408

Life Quotes
Author: Johann Wolfgang von Goethe

All theory, dear friend, is gray, but the golden tree of life springs ever green.

Quote №18398

Life Quotes
Author: Sydney J. Harris

When I hear somebody sigh, ‘Life is hard,’ I am always tempted to ask, ‘Compared to what?’

Quote №18395

Life Quotes
Author: Eric Butterworth

Don’t go through life, grow through life.

Quote №18393

Life Quotes
Author: Paul Cezanne

We live in a rainbow of chaos.

Quote №18391

Life Quotes
Author: Edmund Burke

Nobody made a greater mistake than he who did nothing because he could do only a little.

Quote №18388

Life Quotes
Author: Louise L. Hay

Each one of us decides to incarnate upon this planet at a particular point in time and space. We have chosen to come here to learn a particular lesson that will advance us upon our spiritual, evolutionary pathway.

Quote №18383

Life Quotes
Author: Boris Pasternak

Surprise is the greatest gift which life can grant us.

Quote №18382

Life Quotes
Author: Rabindranath Tagore

I slept and dreamt that life was joy. I awoke and saw that life was service. I acted and behold, service was joy.

Quote №18379

Life Quotes
Author: Socrates

Not life, but good life, is to be chiefly valued.

Quote №18378

Life Quotes
Author: Helen Hayes

The hardest years in life are those between ten and seventy.

Quote №18377

Life Quotes
Author: Max de Pree

We need to give each other the space to grow, to be ourselves, to exercise our diversity. We need to give each other space so that we may both give and receive such beautiful things as ideas, openness, dignity, joy, healing, and inclusion.

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