I think hiccup cures were really invented for the amusement of the patient’s friends.
If you can’t control your peanut butter, you can’t expect to control your life.
Sometimes when I’m talking, my words can’t keep up with my thoughts. I wonder why we think faster than we speak. Probably so we can think twice.
CALVIN:
This whole Santa Claus thing just doesn’t make sense. Why all the secrecy? Why all the mystery?
If the guy exists why doesn’t he ever show himself and prove it?
And if he doesn’t exist what’s the meaning of all this?
HOBBES:
I dunno. Isn’t this a religious holiday?
CALVIN:
Yeah, but actually, I’ve got the same questions about God.
Did you ever wonder if the person in the puddle is real, and you’re just a reflection of him?
Specifically, I’d like to debate whether cannibalism ought to be grounds for leniency in murders, since it’s less wasteful.
Years from now, when I’m successful and happy, …and he’s in prison… I hope I’m not too mature to gloat.
To invent your own life’s meaning is not easy, but it’s still allowed, and I think you’ll be happier for the trouble.
Weekends don’t count unless you spend them doing something completely pointless.
I’m killing time while I wait for life to shower me with meaning and happiness.
CALVIN:
When I grow up I want to be an inventor. First I will invent a time machine. Then I’ll come back to yesterday and take myself to tomorrow and skip this dumb assignment.
In my opinion, we don’t devote nearly enough scientific research to finding a cure for jerks.
The secret to enjoying your job is to have a hobby that’s even worse
You know how Einstein got bad grades as a kid? Well, mine are even worse!
Calvin:It says here that ‘religion is the opiate of the masses.’…what do you suppose that means?Television: …it means that Karl Marx hadn’t seen anything yet
That’s the whole problem with science. You’ve got a bunch of empiricists trying to describe things of unimaginable wonder.
That’s one of the remarkable things about life. It’s never so bad that it can’t get worse.
In my opinion, we don’t devote nearly enough scientific research to finding a cure for jerks.
Hobbes: Do you think there’s a God?
Calvin: Well, somebody’s out to get me!
Talking with you is sort of the conversational equivalent of an out of body experience.
Calvin: Why are you crying mom?Mom: I’m cutting up an onion.Calvin: It must be hard to cook if you anthrpomorphisize your vegetables.
From now on, I’m not doing anything I don’t want to do! The world owes me happiness, fulfillment and success…. I’m just here to cash in.