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Darynda Jones Quotes

Quote №21677

Humor Quotes
Author: Darynda Jones

I do not, I felt oddly appalled by her statement. I’m an excellent liar. Ask my dentist. He swears I floss regularly.

Quote №21533

Humor Quotes
Author: Darynda Jones

His gaze slid over me like a veil of fire. He could ignite my deepest desires with a single glance. I decided right then and there no more reading romance novels by candelight.

Quote №21131

Humor Quotes
Author: Darynda Jones

Insanity does NOT run in my family. It strolls through, takes its time, and gets to know everyone personally. —T-SHIRT

Quote №20739

Humor Quotes
Author: Darynda Jones

You know you have ADD when Look A chicken – T-shirt

Quote №20513

Humor Quotes
Author: Darynda Jones

I like to see the glass as half full, hopefully of jack daniels.

Quote №20194

Humor Quotes
Author: Darynda Jones

I may not look like much, but I’m an expert at pretending to be a ninja.

Quote №19449

Humor Quotes
Author: Darynda Jones

Never knock on death’s door. Ring the doorbell then run. He totally hates that. – T-shirt

Quote №12284

Life Quotes
Author: Darynda Jones

After a long, labored sigh, I said, “She was really happy when I got there. I’m pretty sure she was suicidal when I left.”
“You do have that effect on people.

Quote №21194

Humor Quotes
Author: Darynda Jones

At first, I could lie about my lack of sleep and she’d fall for it, but she started suspecting insomnia when I began seeing purple elephants in the air vents at the office. I knew I shouldn’t have asked her about them. I thought maybe she’d redecorated.

Quote №20328

Humor Quotes
Author: Darynda Jones

After a long pause in which he took the time to blink several times, he asked, You named your breasts?I turned my back to him with a shrug. I named my ovaries, too, but they don’t get out as much.

Quote №20614

Humor Quotes
Author: Darynda Jones

I stood and walked around the desk so I could stand over him. Menacingly. Like Darth Vader, only with better lung capacity.

Quote №20809

Humor Quotes
Author: Darynda Jones

Want coffee? I asked, as I headed that way.It’s three thirty in the morning.Okay. Want coffee?

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