That would be a good thing for them to cut on my tombstone: Wherever she went, including here, it was against her better judgment.
I like to have a martini,Two at the very most.After three I’m under the table,after four I’m under my host.
I’d rather have a bottle in front of me than a frontal lobotomy.
There’s a hell of a distance between wise-cracking and wit. Wit has truth in it; wise-cracking is simply calisthenics with words.[Interview, The Paris Review, Summer 1956]
I require three things in a man: he must be handsome, ruthless, and stupid.
And if my heart be scarred and burned,
The safer, I, for all I learned.
In youth, it was a way I had,
To do my best to please.
And change, with every passing lad
To suit his theories.
But now I know the things I know
And do the things I do,
And if you do not like me so,
To hell, my love, with you.
Three be the things I shall never attain: Envy, content, and sufficient champagne.
Love is like quicksilver in the hand. Leave the fingers open and it stays. Clutch it and it darts away.
The two most beautiful words in the English language are ‘check enclosed.