Just because a person dies doesn’t mean it should change the way you feel about them, or the way they really were. Just because they’re gone doesn’t mean that they weren’t a bad person or that they never fucked up.
Tragic deaths aren’t avoidable. That’s what Ezra said outside Sam’s wake, and even though–to use Foster’s phrasing–I didn’t know anything about anything, I felt in this moment that Ezra was wrong. What often makes something tragic is that it can be avoided.
Close your eyes, real tight, and then count to three hundred. That’s all you have to do. You just count to three hundred, and when you open your eyes, five minutes will have passed. And even if it hurts or things are shitty or you don’t know what to do, you just made it through five whole minutes. And when it feels like you can’t go on, you just close your eyes and do it again. That’s all you need. Just five minutes at a time.