From the moment I picked up your book until I put it down, I was convulsed with laughter. Some day I intend reading it.
If you find it hard to laugh at yourself, I would be happy to do it for you.
We’ll meet at the theater tonight. I’ll hold your seat ’til you get there. Once you get there; you’re on your own.
Just give me a comfortable couch, a dog, a good book, and a woman. Then if you can get the dog to go somewhere and read the book, I might have a little fun.
One morning I shot an elephant in my pajamas. How he got in my pajamas I’ll never know.
The secret of life is honesty and fair dealing. If you can fake that, you’ve got it made.
Outside of a dog, a book is man’s best friend. Inside of a dog it’s too dark to read.
Man does not control his own fate. The women in his life do that for him.
If a black cat crosses your path, it signifies that the animal is going somewhere.
The secret of life is honesty and fair dealing. If you can fake that, you’ve got it made.
The first thing which I can record concerning myself is, that I was born. These are wonderful words. This life, to which neither time nor eternity can bring diminution – this everlasting living soul, began. My mind loses itself in these depths.