I gave him my best cryptic smile. He did not fall down to his feet, kiss my shoes, and promise me the world. I must be getting rusty.

I can’t give you the white picket fence, and if I did, you’d set it on fire.

I came to the table, pulled up a chair, and sat. “Everyone brought a pet. I feel left out.” An enthusiastic howl broke the silence, and Grendel bounded through the doorway. He galloped through the steak house, skidded on the floor, smashed into my chair, and dropped a dead rat on my lap. Awesome.

I’ve never created a riot before. I did cause a brawl at the last formal. A large number of young women there actually arrived with the expectation of seducing me into matrimony, and a couple of their mothers came to blows. It was hilari—I mean, dreadful. Simply dreadful.

Georgie, stop trying to resurrect the shoes. They were never alive in the first place.

Curran looked back at me. Why is it you always attract creeps?You tell me. Ha! Walked right into that one, yes, he did.

Did he just rip out the engine? I asked.Yes, Saiman said. And now he is demolishing the Maserati with it.Ten seconds later Curran hurled the twisted wreck of black and orange that used to be the Maserati into the wall.The first melodic notes of an old song came from the computer. I glanced at Saiman.He shrugged. It begged for a soundtrack.

What’s this ”“A needle.”“What should I do with it ” He’d walked right into it. Too easy. “Please use it to pop your head. It’s obscuring my view of the room.

It’s a reflex. Hear a bell, get food. See an undead, throw a knife. Same thing, really.

What’s that?That’s my attack poodle.