I need to look like an idiot at least twice a day to keep myself humble.

Either get out of bed or else take your clothes off, he said. I’m not in the mood to compromise.

Nice dress. Take it off.

Men drive off bridges and drink too much because of women like you.

Is that a bulletproof vest? See, now that’s so insulting. That’s like saying I’m not smart enough to shoot you in the head. Eddie DeChooch

I ran three miles, staggered into the lobby, and took the elevator back to my apartment. No point to overdoing this exercise junk. –Stephanie Plum

She’ll be back, Ranger said. But not tonight.[Stephanie] How’d you get her to leave?Told her I was gonna spend the next twelve hours ruining you for all other men, and so she might as well go home.I could feel the heat rush to my face.Ranger gave me the wolf smile. I lied about it being tonight, he said.