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Jerry Seinfeld Quotes

Quote №29913

Death Quotes
Author: Jerry Seinfeld

Once you start doing only what you’ve already proven you can do, you’re on the road to death.

Quote №21313

Humor Quotes
Author: Jerry Seinfeld

Elaine: Ugh, I hate people.Jerry: Yeah, they’re the worst.

Quote №19287

Humor Quotes
Author: Jerry Seinfeld

Somebody just gave me a shower radio. Thanks a lot. Do you really want music in the shower? I guess there’s no better place to dance than a slick surface next to a glass door.

Quote №18329

Life Quotes
Author: Jerry Seinfeld

To me, if life boils down to one thing, it’s movement. To live is to keep moving.

Quote №21607

Humor Quotes
Author: Jerry Seinfeld

The Swiss have an interesting army. Five hundred years without a war. Pretty impressive. Also pretty lucky for them. Ever seen that little Swiss Army knife they have to fight with? Not much of a weapon there. Corkscrews. Bottle openers. ‘Come on, buddy, let’s go. You get past me, the guy in the back of me, he’s got a spoon. Back off, I’ve got the toe clippers right here.

Quote №19478

Humor Quotes
Author: Jerry Seinfeld

Sometimes the road less traveled is less traveled for a reason

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