The physician’s duty is not to stave off death or return patients to their old lives, but to take into our arms a patient and family whose lives have disintegrated and work until they can stand back up and face – and make sense of – their own existence.

Will having a newborn distract from the time we have together? she asked. Don’t you think saying goodbye to your child will make your death more painful?Wouldn’t it be great if it did? I said. Lucy and I both felt that life wasn’t about avoiding suffering.